My readers know narcissism has been bugging me, as a general subject that I’ve been dancing around. This is why. I find many of the books in the self-help niche are sloppy with the boundaries between beneficial attention to self, and malignant self-love. As I work through the books purchased, write against their recommended journalling prompts, so much sounds like training in straight-up narcissism.

Perhaps dipping into narcissism to remedy a deep neglect of one’s self may rebound to a normal level of self-awareness? I’m uneasy with that. I’ve begun not writing against certain prompts.

This is useful in how to identify the two, and how to manage the sometimes-subtle differences. I liked this bit:

“Self-love can turn to malignant self-love when it becomes less about supporting your health and more about giving yourself glory, pomp, and importance.”

One can see in these books how hard they work to try to build our senses of importance and glory. I certainly don’t think they are nefarious on purpose, but I have to go back through and correct some of the things I’ve written, read. I could never walk up to someone and demand respect because I might think I was better or smarter. I would just walk up and be myself, and let them be the judge. That’s my natural method of handling ‘self love’. A few of you longtime readers first encountered me when I’d step far outside my zone of experience and state a forceful opinion, and you called me on it. I pulled back and apologized, making up for the mistake. Or offer to do more research and return with a different take. Some, I realized I could NEVER know enough to determine a reasonable conclusion. And I admitted it. I was one of the first to have an ‘errata’ section, where I’d categorize corrections. That’s why you’re still readers. No worship; just honest discussion, searching for truth or fact.

This concern over narcissism doesn't just apply to books; you will all recognize these themes running throughout the video reels of social media channels. They seem to be breeding a very unhealthy level of narcissism as a ‘base level’ of self-aggrandizement in order to be an influencer. How many brag that they are gods and goddesses!

Don’t get me started on politicians (eyes crossed).

And we bloggers are certainly not immune. Right now, restarting this blog is an exercise in humbleness. My daily viewers and RSS subscribers are a microscopic amount compared to the 00’s. If we bloggers were narcissists today, we’d never bother. Seriously. We’ve gone from megachurches to Quaker meeting houses (healthier so; a subject for another time). I do this because I’ve missed writing daily. Parts of my intellect suffered in its absence. Journal prompts just don’t do it for me. I’ve been spoiled by blogging, I suppose. I’m hoping a good table in the pines to rest my journal on, or a typewriter in the wilderness can break me away from this online habit. Still, very much ‘ride or die.’

So be aware if you delve into the self-help section of the bookstore. There’s some deeply misguided guidance there. As astute as I seem, I almost got sucked in.

If I can be, you can be too. In the meantime, I’ve become hypersensitive to how many “I’s” there are in my writings …